English Jokes for Students

Nate : Why was school easier for cave people? Kate : Why? Nate : Because there was no history to study!

Luke : Why did the M&M go to school? Stan : I’m stumped. Luke : Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!

Patient : Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea. Doctor : Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?" One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

A : Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl? B : It's a girl. She's my daughter. A : Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father. B : I'm not. I'm her mother.

Headmaster : I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing? Johnny : Nothing, sir. Headmaster : Exactly.

Teacher : "Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?" Nick : "What do you think it is, Sir?" Teacher : "I don't think, I KNOW!" Nick : "I don't think I know either, Sir!"

A : Why are you crying? B : The elephant is dead. A : Was he your pet? B : No, but I'm the one who must dig his grave.