Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean… But the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face.
Teacher : Tell me a way to prevent a disease which is caused by biting insects. Student : Don’t get bitten by them.
When your teacher asks “Where’s your homework?” It took a sick day. It had too many problems.
A good friend can finish your sentences… a best friend will do the same, but make it sound 10 times dirtier
My boyfriend and I laughed at how happy we were. But I ended up laughing more.
Here’s a tip for ladies. If your boyfriend doesn’t compliment you, then let the man-go.
I got fired from my job at the bank today. An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
“You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.”